yes we fucking did.

-f

want to know the only thing more frustrating than having the same dude repeatedly call my number by accident at 4am? the fact that i was woken up 5 times by him before i thought to say "hey look, maybe you should consider dialing a different sequence of numbers next time."

-f

dear the whole world:
can we please stop saying "hot mess" already?
love,
-f

i was very proud to recently combine the "putting all your eggs in one basket" metaphor with the "counting your chickens before they hatch" metaphor, into one super-uber-metaphor. i mean, can you believe how foolish somebody would have to be to put all their unhatched eggs in one basket, and then count them?

-f

it turns out that in japan, you are allowed to smoke INDOORS, but not OUTDOORS.

-f

yesterday i discovered that i can open a beer with my belt buckle. this is only slightly less manly than being able to open one with my penis, and will probably make the ladies swoon.

-f

hey is there a wikipedia page for wikipedia?


...OH MY GOD THERE IS!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia

-f